Not Unlike Childbirth

Anyone who has ever birthed a child has heard it.  Very possibly, anyone who has never birthed a child has heard it - regardless of if you have a uterus or not.  But I'll assume that most bodies who will ever read this have - or have had - a uterus in her body at some point.  So, yes.  I'm going out on a limb and say that all of us have heard it.  And what, might you ask, is "it"?

"Childbirth will hurt like no pain imaginable.  But after you hold that baby in your arms, you'll forget all about the pain."

Not that this has anything to do with the post, but first and foremost, I call bull.  Acutally I call bullshit but since my mom is reading I'll refrain from profanity.  You're welcome, Mom.   You do not forget.  Is it worth it?  Absofreakinglutely.  But do you forget the pain?  The burning?  The stretching?  The feeling that your nether regions are coming unhinged and will never - under ANY uncertain terms - be seen, touched, inhabited, or normal ever again?  No.  You don't forget.  And that's with an epidural.  {And, since I'm currently 39 1/2 weeks pregnant with my THIRD child, the last of that is evidently not true.  Ahem.}

Anyway . . . back to the story.  And don't worry, this isn't about childbirth or even anything fun that gets you to childbirth.  Again, you're welcome.  This post is actually about a table.  {Stay with me.  It will make sense in a minute.}

One Saturday evening, we decided to live on the edge made trip to Sam's.  Contain yourselves, please.  I know the excitement is just too much.  So, we're at Sam's.  Rich was looking for some stuff for work, so the boys and I were wandering.  As we wandered, we came to the furniture section.  A little back story . . . I got our current dining room set in 2003 as a hand-me-down.  It was in good shape, but we have no clue how old it was to begin with and it was pine which meant it was super soft and showed scratches quite easily.  9 years, 7 moves, countless gradecards, wedding invitations, dinners and probably a few diapers later, it had certainly seen better days.  It had been on our "next to replace" list for at least 3 years, but between necessities and babies, it hadn't been. 

So while we were wandering, a table set caught my eye.  It was the counter height that we wanted, had 8 chairs {that we wanted}, and was dark wood {you guessed it . . . that we wanted!}.  I walked past it several times.  And loved it more with each pass.  It was dark and chunky and looked like a whole lot more than it was.  And I - NOT the impulsive purchaser that my husband is - knew it was meant to be. 

I mean . . . is there any reason I shouldn't have fallen in love??!

We debated as we walked {and kept circling back} and finally decided we were going to do it!  But, seeing as it was getting late and we hadn't fed our children before we left the boys were done with shopping, we just took the slip of paper and decided to come back on Sunday and pick it up.

Around rolls Sunday.  Our dining room is cleared.  The garage is cleaned out {to house the old table as a storage surface} which desperately needed to be done but made for a long day.  As my facebook status said that night, "Cleaning out the garage with my husband=almost as much fun as unmedicated childbirth. Almost." Apparently this analogy started then!  ha!  Anyway, Rich and G headed off in the truck and Hudson and I followed a bit later with the suburban so we'd be certain to have enough room for all the boxes.

Except, there wasn't a problem with it all fitting.  Because you see, it was out of stock.  Bummer. 

The silver lining was that there were several stores within about an hour's drive from here that had them.  Around comes Monday morning, I make a call to the Frederick, Maryland store to confirm they do, indeed, have the table.  They do, so off we go. 

An hour later, we pull into the store, I strap the boys in a cart, and in we go.  The cashier was super nice and I'm quite excited to get the set home!  She took the slip of paper over to the customer service desk and although I felt a little uneasy after she was gone for several minutes, I chose to remain positive.  Finally she came back and said "he" was going to check, because they thought the set was damaged.  Um, excuse me??  Another customer came into the line, so the boys and I moved forward to wait.  I knew it wasn't good when I saw "him" coming back with only my slip of paper in his hand. 

As it turned out, they did indeed have 3 sets in stock.  3 sets which had ALL BEEN DAMAGED DURING SHIPMENT.  Are you freaking kidding me??!

I jerked got the boys out of the cart and headed out the door, her numerous apologies following me out.  I was so mad I could have screamed.  Had I not been on the verge of tears I would have asked to talk to the manager.  I don't know what I would have said except that the morons you hire need to be able to accurately read a computer screen.  Urgh. 

We got back in the car and once I calmed down I used my phone to look up other Sam's in that area.  Of course, of the 2 that were semi-close, neither had the set.  Naturally.  So, just as we're pulling out, G informed me he had to pee.  Are you kidding me, kid?!  {I'd asked while we were waiting in the store, and he didn't have to then.  Of course!}  There was no chance on this side of hell that I was walking back into that store, so we drove to the side of the parking lot and I got him out and let him do on their grass what I would have liked to have let him do on the manager's computer.  Ahem.

Long{er} story short{er}, after multiple calls, hours online, and a few choice words, I {doubly} confirmed on Tuesday morning that a store up in Baltimore DID have the set, it was NOT damaged, and the guy back in the stock room {yeah, I spoke to him, too} was pulling it and putting my name on it.  So, off we went.  Again.

An hour and a half later, and after I had told the stock boy that I loved him {poor thing didn't know what to say. Ha!} this was the view behind me.

Ahhhhh.  It was a wonderful moment.  And don't worry, Hudson is in his seat, too.  :)

R and his 2 best helpers. 

Mallory even came to help.

And Miles thought R needed some kisses to complete the process.

Our LOVELY pink/red/fuschia dining room doesn't allow good pictures to be taken, but you get the idea . . .

Every time I walk through the dining room I smile. I LOVE it. And on at least one occasion I have said to Rich {enter the anlogy and point of all of this rambling}, "You know . . . this table was kinda like childbirth. {cue look from Rich inferring I had lost what little is left of my mind} The process of getting it was just short of hell, but it was sooooooooo worth it!"

And speaking of love, this little munchkin - who happened to be awake while I was taking these pictures - made for some pretty cute pictures, too.